jesseplnkmvn:

today i was in hot topic with my mom and there was a bra with Simba on it so I asked her “want a lion king bra?” she said “why would i?” so I put it in front of my chest and said “hakuna ma tatas” she had to leave the store she was laughing so hard.

(Source: markkruffalo, via imlostinyouforever)

urbancatfitters:

hyperbole is my favorite literary device i use it like 600 times a day

(Source: urbancatfitters, via crazyscienceclones)

pansoph:

pansoph:

i went to a party and put 3 whole loaves of sliced bread all around the house i put bread under the kid’s pillow and in all 3 of his bathrooms, in his rugby shorts and the breast pocket of his school shirt, on his roof and his neighbor’s roof, in his couch and on his tv i’m laughing so hard he’s going to wake up hungover tomorrow and be like why the fuck is there bread everywhere 

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i’m pissing myself

(via phenixroi)

friskygrandma:

I!!!DONT!!!WANNA!!!CARE!!!ABOUT!!!MY!!!WEIGHT!!! BUT!!!I!!!DO!!!

(via abominableabby)

stupidstagram:

a man couldn’t get a woman to touch his dick, so he shot people, like, that’s an actual thing that has occurred in the year 2014. we can put people on the moon, but we can’t teach boys that they aren’t entitled to a woman’s body. 

(via phenixroi)

fraek:

do you ever look at yourself and think ‘aw cute’ but then walk two feet into a different lighting and think ‘omg nvm’

(Source: thotbots, via phenixroi)

arrogantdad:

my mom told me that in high school she used to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad

(via internet-meme)

inkerton-kun:

when you want to replay a videogame but then you remember that part

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(via scottsonnier)

cuddlesclifford:

I HOPE YOU MEET YOUR FAVORITE BAND MEMBER AND THEY LIKE YOU AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE THEM

(Source: bottomcal, via clemsxbutera)

prostydia:

When you try to impress a hot person.

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(via nciyes)

rodneykong:

shoutout to me for still not having my driver’s license

(Source: bobbyhoying, via shut-up-karen)